The months of August and September of every school year are a special chapter in the lives of both parents and students. It is a big step as a child advances from grade to grade. However, the giant leap from high school to college generates the most excitement, as well as a touch of sadness and apprehension. Moving from pre-kindergarten through 12th grade, parents are annually reminded of the continual process during which your child gradually separates from you. As the child grows, the parental relationship changes. But perhaps the ultimate change occurs when your child embarks on her or his college career, and so the rest of her or his life. I have had the opportunity to watch the transition from high school to college for a very long time. In fact, as I write this piece, Benedictine University is welcoming one of the largest freshmen classes in its history along with one of the largest groups of transfer students from other institutions. Stressed parents and anxious students are engaged in this rite of passage right outside my office. I have a message for students and for parents.

For students, I am reminded of Dr. Seuss' poem "Oh, the Places You'll Go!" Remember the beginning of the poem - "Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!"

As a senior in high school, you were at the top of the K-12 educational world. You struggled through the stigma of being less than a senior, but you made it. Yet life is funny. One moment we are on the top of the world, and the next moment we have tumbled from that vaulted position. I hate to deliver the news, but once again, you are a freshman. You are again at the bottom of the educational rung and must work your way through four challenging years. As you approach college/university for the first time, it is a tremendous change in your life. You might be away from home for the first time, and the first blush of freedom can be intoxicating. But quickly, the experience becomes sobering.

For perhaps many years, you have been planning this transition. You researched possible colleges and finally made your choice. You have shopped, packed and delivered yourself to the institution of your choice. Be warned: the expense of so much energy is often quickly replaced by uneasiness - even unhappiness. It's a fascinating time, for you are grabbing on to a new slice of life. However, as exhilarating as it is, it is also worrisome. Until you get the lay of the land, there is worry about new surroundings, friends, roommates, professors, class assignments and the complexity of the campus - how do I get from here to there? You may even experience a profound loneliness - in the midst of thousands of other students. Be patient! When you climb the mountain of anticipation, you inevitably come down on the other side. This is natural and will pass. Your college has people in place to walk you through the downside of the mountain. Let them work with you.

In the words of Dr. Seuss: "Out there things can happen and they frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you. And when things start to happen, don't worry - don't stew. Just go right along, You'll start happening too. Oh! The Places You'll go!"

Parents experience just as much turmoil and anxiety, for it is a tug on the heart. The departing college student leaves an empty bed, an empty chair at the table, less noise, less banging of doors, less people around, no more fighting for the car. In a very real sense, when the child leaves for college, we are reminded as parents of our own mortality. Our children may not seem very grown up to us, but they are certainly getting there. We must accept the fact that our child has entered a new phase of their emerging "adulthood," and we are entering a whole new world without them.

Allow me to offer parents some advice. First, get off your child's back (if you are on it) regarding what your child is going to be following graduation and what your child's major will be. Every year I speak to prospective freshmen and their parents regarding this issue. Students applaud me when I encourage their parents to back off on this matter of a major and what your child will do for the rest of their lives. Along with the challenge to back off, I ask parents to raise their hands if they have decided what they want to be when "they grow up." Very few raise their hands. If we as middle age adults do not know, how can we put such a burden on an 18-year-old? The media is full of predictions that today's college student will have many careers (some suggest as many as five or six). If your child is not squarely focused on a career (e.g., medicine, engineering, etc.), encourage her or him to major in disciplines that will provide the ability to communicate - orally and through the written word - and to think critically. Students with these skills can transfer them easily to many work situations and are apt to be highly successful in law school and other graduate school venues. In addition, students who think critically and can communicate are often easily trained by corporations in the language and discipline of the corporation. A local CEO once said to me: "Give me students who can communicate and think critically, and I can train them to be a success in the corporate world." So if your child is unsure of what major to pursue or of what she or he will do for the rest of her or his life, that is perfectly OK.

When you have deposited your child at college and have been home for several weeks, be ready for the "I hate this place" phone call. In my advice to the new student above, I suggested that she might encounter a period of unhappiness and loneliness. This is a critical time in your child's journey. While the natural parental reaction is to rush to her aide, may I advise you to be cautious in your approach to this situation. When the excitement of the passage to the new state of life and the newness has worn away, loneliness and some emotional letdown may take place. Encourage your child to get involved in campus activities and to take advantage of trained personnel at the college who are use to handling this kind of situation. Very quickly, the blues and the blahs are washed away as your child takes ownership of the new situation.

As a university president and parent, I understand the enormity of this move and the trust you have placed in the university you and your child have chosen. When I meet parents who are sending their children to Benedictine for the first time, I give them my business card and encourage them to call me with their parental concerns. As a parent, I would want someone to "look in" on my child to make sure everything is OK. I am certainly willing to do that for other parents. While only a handful of parents have asked me to check on their child during my 10 years at Benedictine University, when they do ask, I do check.

So parents, give your child and yourselves room. Take a deep breath. For the first four or five months of college life, your son or daughter will be making a lot of decisions on their own. They may talk with you about these things, and they may not. Don't hover, but stay interested! The whole 18 years you had to raise your child was about this moment - when they would begin life on their own.

As the daughter of songwriter Roger Whitakker sings in a duet with her father: "Dad [Mom], you taught me well. So trust me as I go on my way."